TIPS FOR WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN YOUR OWN BED IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY AND FEEL LIKE YOU'RE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS

You know how everyone is always like, "Oh my gosh you studied abroad? Did you travel? Did you have fun? Did you discover yourself? Did you mature in ways you never thought possible? Did you go to Paris? Did you see Big Ben? Did you get lost? Did you meet new people? Did you make amazing friendships that will last forever? Did you eat a lot? Did you even have time to study anything?", and you're just like, "Um yes", and then you scurry away before you are forced to give any details because if you mention ANY memory you might burst into tears because it is just a fading memory and you cannot handle that? 

Yeah. 

So the title of this post, "TIPS FOR WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN YOUR OWN BED IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY AND FEEL LIKE YOU'RE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS" is supposed to sort of let you into my mind right now. I basically have come home from having many adventures "prancing", as my mom likes to call it, around Europe. (I prefer the word "slugging" but she thinks all I did was have fun or something???) It feels like it was just yesterday I was waking up with a hangover in Paris or waking up on my birthday in Amsterdam. It feels like just yesterday I was waking up nervous for my final presentation in London or waking up in Galway knowing I was about to spend the day with two of my best friends from high school. 

So what is someone who just had the time of their life traveling around Europe supposed to do when they find themselves waking up at home again? 

My bed in Edinburgh, Scotland

Well, there are lots of options and ways to look at it...
The optimist in me is forcing myself to choose to be happy that I am home safe and can finally RELAX (after working 8 hours at my grandpa's coffee factory every week day this winter break that is...) and not have to live out of a duffle bag on the weekends, sleep in hard foreign beds, and shower in tiny cold unsanitary bathrooms of hostels.

The "needs to keep busy" part of me is definitely keeping busy. 

- I am focusing more on my blog and trying to come up with unique ideas.

- I am reading A LOT: I finished four books THIS week -  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, The Blood of an Englishman, and Not the End of the World.  I am now reading Disgrace and am going to start Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix next. I have like 10 more books I wanted to read this break before I go back to school... in 9 days... uh oh! 

 - I have been watching a lot: Veronica Mars (TV show), all three of The Hobbit movies... AGAIN, all of the Harry Potter movies... AGAIN, A Long Way Down, and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Also, I have been watching a lot of behind the scenes Youtube videos from various movies. 

- I have been writing a lot. I am working on my novel and two plays. 

- I have started two scrapbooks, which I will show the finished products of before I go back to school. One is on my family trip to Orlando and Universal Studios and the other is on my study abroad (but that one is more of a memory journal than a typical scrapbook). 

- I am spending time with loved ones and friends. I just had lunch with my coworker (who is a great friend) and dinner with my friend Alyssa today. Tomorrow, I am getting breakfast with my mom and my high school theatre director :) My brother Pat is coming up from Columbus to spend the weekend with us!

So, from all of my own actions, this is my advice to anyone experiencing anything remotely similar:

- Keep yourself entertained and intrigued - movies, TV, books, etc. You just came from seeing some of the great sights in the world, you gotta keep yourself impressed or you will feel hollow.

- Do something to help keep those experiences preserved in a healthy way - scrapbook, memory journal, write stories, etc.  

- Spend time with the people you missed! They missed you back and want to see your face in person, especially if you are leaving again - like I am from for New Jersey in 9 days.

- Love yourself and love your memories <3

 Hope some of this made sense haha. This quite possibly was just an incoherent rant so I apologize.

xx